Connectivity

I have a theory. More and faster and instant communication portals and devices do not make us better communicators. We just have more and faster communication portals and devices.

The origins of my theory this morning: I have a contractor completing a year-long project at my home who is getting quite lazy and we are literally 6 hours from completing the job. The last few months have been horrible trying to get his attention on finishing the job. I make a phone call to the business number. Voice mail. I make a phone call to the contractor's cell phone. Voice mail. I send a text to the cell phone. No answer. I send an e-mail to the business. No reply. FAX. Nothing. E-mail marked urgent. Nothing. Contractor drops by unannounced. Promises to come back Friday. No show Friday. No call. No text. No e-mail. It is an endless loop of communication devices. Until recently, these modes of communication worked just fine.

No doubt, I am frustrated by this situation with my contractor (a bit cranky, really). And the M.I.A. contractor is one example of millions in a day. I also notice people texting others while sitting around a table together. I notice the commuter train filled with loud conversation on cell phones; no one is talking to one another. I notice pedestrians walking down the streets having animated conversations into cell phones. I notice an inordinate amount of time spent in front of a computer screen. I notice 90% of all connection with any charity is via an electronic communication. There is a lot of connectivity without much meaningful connecting.

None of the technical access points available to anyone make a difference if the users of the devices aren't committed to the people generating the words being communicated. We're so busy being connected that we become more disconnected. Our lives have devolved into 100 letter status updates and not to fulfilling promises, obligations, contracts, agreements. What would it be like to spend less time managing the number of messages and devices and more time managing the relationship with the person on the other end of the device? In other words, it's not the managing of the message or the device that matters as much as managing the relationship with the messenger and recipient!

I am not device-phobic. Really. They come in really handy at times. Many times. What I notice though is that when we lose the human connection with one another we are not nearly as engaged, committed, present, or successful. We hide in the transmission (or exchanges) and the more devices that exist between people, the more places to hide. There is a huge paradox here: The more connected we are the less connected we are. The relationship becomes about how often and in how many ways we miss one another and not actually those times we connect.

Our lives, our relationships, our businesses, our organizations, our boards of directors, our communities, our friends, our kids...we fail when we forget that the device is merely the conduit for people to connect. It's the relationship that matters! Isn't it funny that the now vintage telephone service advertising said to "reach out and touch someone" and there was no reaching or touching involved?

How important is technology to you? What are your core "technology" values? What do you do to manage and balance the real and the virtual worlds in which you live/work? If you rely upon technology to communicate, what do you do that makes the communication effective? Authentic? Connected? What would be possible if we unplugged just a bit?

NOTE: Contractor has never returned to the job and has been replaced.

Enjoy the day!

Love, Sister

Sitting in the boat with my son, comfortably in the driveway!

One year ago I was given a boat for my birthday by my sister. So much for gift cards! Notice the name of the boat?

It is a sweet 18 foot power boat that will be moored right in front of my home for the summer season. In the ocean...with daily tides...and Nor'easter storms...and hidden rocks that reveal themselves when the tides go out. What might be a fun experience for experienced boaters feels terrifying to me. I am out of my comfort zone entirely. And determined to make it work!

So this is what I make up:

• New opportunities may require learning new skills. Lots of them.
• Sometimes fun is not easy.
• Owning a boat requires relying upon others with expertise. Doesn't most anything require leaning into others?
• Boating has its own language and culture. Parts of the vessel, laws and courtesies of the sea, deep history. Foreign languages can be learned and cultures can be adopted.
  
• There are GPS devices, sonar devices, maps, and the power of observation available to me to avoid rocks in the way. My fear of the rocks may be bigger than the rocks themselves or my ability to navigate around them.
• Storms come and go. Like just yesterday. A big wind event with hours of drenching rain. And today, sun! Anchor and cover the boat securely. Automated bilge pump is in place. Be patient. Be prepared.
  
• This boat has a singular purpose--having fun. Sweet return on the investment.
• What I am afraid of now, will be familiarity later. Fear will give way to caution and then awareness.
  

No doubt, having a boat can be a powerful metaphor for life, relationships, work, family, teams, organizations. Each day I look out at the boat I am reminded of this fear I have and what it takes to feel more comfortable, to be in relationship with it (the "it" in this case is the fear, not the boat). Being in relationship with my fear and using my fear as a place to begin growing and learning is not easy and humbling. It's the big goal--having fun on the water!--that keeps me in the game.

The boat is my teacher today. What teaches you something of value in your world? Find a metaphor and play with it!

Bliss

In a recent coaching session a client wondered to herself out loud: "What would I leave this state of bliss for?"

Oh, the places that question can take you. What would you leave your current state of being for? What's there that you don't have/feel/see/want here? What do you know about your personal bliss? What matters to you about it? If not bliss, what?

Have a look!

Water

My community north of Boston has been included in the emergency restricted water use program since Saturday evening. The report is that the main water pipe supplying fresh water to 2 million people in over 700,000 homes broke. The flow to the broken pipe was stopped and now untreated water from a different reservoir is flowing to the affected homes and businesses. Since the water is untreated, it must be boiled or otherwise treated prior to consumption. Lake water is better than no water, I suppose.

Within moments of about 6:30 PM Saturday there were automated phone calls from the town, emergency "crawls" across the bottom of the television screen, Facebook postings, text messages, and a wide range of other delivery systems describing the end of the world. And we were so calm. The secret? Be prepared.

Our process was pretty straight forward: Gather the one-liter plastic water bottles from the cabinet. Go to the cupboard and get the water purifier device as well as the water purification tablets leftover from our backpacking trip across India. Begin a system of boiling tap water in the tea pot and filling all available pitchers. Place anti-bacterial gel dispensers on counters and in bathrooms. Briefly collaborate with teenage son about a healthy protocol over the next few days (weeks?). Be prepared.

And so far, it has been a breeze. The only complication is remembering not to drink water while in the shower spray.

I was raised in earthquake-ridden Los Angeles where having your "earthquake kit" supplied and ready to go was a fact of life. While you could not do anything about the earthquakes themselves, you could manage your life, your safety, and your survival if you were adequately prepared. Back-up food supplies, bleach, blankets, first aid supplies, the car always adequately gassed up, spare cash, a transistor radio, an emergency call/evacuation plan...very straightforward. I can recall sitting on the rubble of my home in 1994 moments after the infamous Northridge Earthquake, only a few miles from the epicenter, boiling up a pot of tea while assessing the damage and waiting out the aftershocks. The pre-dawn quake was quite terrifying but the aftermath didn't have to be. Be prepared.

So what? Well...what if restricted water use was simply a metaphor for "emergency" or "things will happen that are out of your control" or, as my house contractor likes to call the "Oh, s**t moments"? How prepared are you for managing the really important emergencies in your life, the kinds of emergent issues that are really, vitally important? What does ease look like in moments like this? How do you keep yourself together?

And beyond the impact of broken water mains or earthquakes, think about the catastrophes of life and living: A broken heart, a sick body, an unplanned divorce or employment disruption...increase in college tuition, the roof leaking, a board chair resigning, a major event being rained out...the economic recession, volcanic ash in the air canceling air flights, a war...a death, a birth, a diagnosis, a crisis of faith. Anything can (and will) disrupt our lives and escalate into a major crisis if we are not mindful of preparation and holding the value of ease.

Anticipate. Plan. Anticipate. Plan. Ease.

Class of 2010

I am very aware of the young people in my life who are graduating from high school, graduating from college, or taking big steps in the "what next" of their lives in the next few months. Lots of 'em! What an awesome experience to witness these young talents, tapping into their skills and resources, to make it in their worlds.

Every day there appears to be a fierce determination to begin the rest of their lives. Graduating from high school. Getting into college. Paying for college. Graduating from college. Joining the military. Entering a trade school. Getting married. Taking a job. Joining a service learning program. Traveling. Something is up!

I make this up--To be faced with the economy, the world condition, the Internet, competition, increased cynicism and unrest, endless choices and opportunities, globalization while, at the same time, to be exploring adult independence can be confusing, troubling. I trust the young people taking these huge steps in their lives are aware of the incredible challenges in front of them and I hope they find balance between these challenges and the extraordinary possibility and optimism they must also be feeling.

While these moments of opportunity are milestones and significant achievements, they are but singular experiences--of millions--they will have adapting and reinventing themselves over their entire lives! Life is truly a fluid, changing, adaptable, organic, evolving, unfolding, out-of-control experience. It is not quite what we plan for it to be. And knowing this can be incredibly cool and liberating. Or not.

One of the greatest challenges I have faced personally and that I see with my clients--individuals, partnerships, and teams--is the difficulty being okay with changing, adapting, being fluid. It seems as though our rigid way of thinking takes over and to simply evolve would upset the plan [Goals. The strategy. Direction. Schedule. Itineraries. Deadlines. Program. Agenda. Outline]. There has to be some way of balancing dreams and reality without that being a bad thing, a sell-out.

What's your plan? What's the big idea? What would it be like to just go with the flow? When you think about the barriers to going with the flow, what are they? What do you notice? What would be possible to look at the world with the fresh optimism and possibility of a graduate? What could you learn from a graduate today? What advice or wisdom would you offer a graduate today? What do you do to align endless possibility with the structures that keep your life contained?

Congratulations, Graduate!

A Tale of Two Saturdays

On Saturday, February 20, one of my clients raised a lot of money for her non-profit organization. So get this--in this crippled economy and after key internal leadership transitions she capably managed a large event team that raised over $625,000 (over 65% increase over the year before) and reduced the expenses by over 20% (total expenses for this event were 28%!) all the while making dear friends and generous supporters for the cause. And remarkably, she created a deep and lasting relationship between the four event co-chairs and her organization. What a day!

On Saturday February 27, exactly one Saturday later, I was at my sister's home an ocean away. She lives on Maui. Yet the morning was a frenzy, waking to tsunami sirens and a panicked family. A lot of fear in the home and all over the islands. The news reports were alarming and the requests to the citizens of Hawaii were clear: prepare for the worst. At 11:19 AM we would experience the full impact of a surging sea on Maui's north shore.

The worst never came. Nothing.

But whether a planned fundraising benefit or an unplanned natural disaster, I am aware of some important take-aways:

1. Be prepared. Have a "Plan B" for quirky audio/video or if a speaker is stuck. Anticipate challenges and problems and course correct before they unfold. Have back stocks of batteries, light sources, non-perishable foods. Keep the car full of gas. Have cash on hand. Have supplies of extra medications and a first aid kit.
   
2. Have a network of close and capable people nearby. Look after one another. Trust. Care. Show up and do what needs to be done. Be easy and kind. Acknowledge one another.
   
3. Have a plan. Know who is available and the roles they will play. Know who has responsibility and/or authority. Know who is the decider of last resorts and on which issues. Know where there is higher ground. Know where there is temporary shelter. Know where there are passable roads. Know who the point person is to be called on when needed.
   
4. Keep your wits. Sometimes stress looks controlling or impatient or short tempered; it's just stress. Sometimes fear looks controlling or impatient or short tempered; it's just fear. Sometimes behaviors have nothing to do with you and are just natural expressions of a larger thing. Roll with it in the moment. Clean it up later.
   
5. Stay focused, busy, on task. In some cases, doing something is better than doing nothing. Set a goal. Dream big. Be Mission-driven. It is pretty simple--One Saturday, raise money. The next Saturday, stay safe.
6. Debrief, reflect, and grow. Review what worked, what was useful, what was skillful. Deconstruct events to learn for the next time. Celebrate and savor success. Know when to move on.

Perhaps you can replace the topics of fundraising event and tsunami preparations with any number of topics and see the value of the take-always I listed. For non-profit leaders consider how the take aways listed can support your strategic planning process or board leadership recruitment efforts. How might the list aid your management of staff or volunteers? Think about it...

I wonder what this coming Saturday will hold.

Be the Change

From the Bureau of Labor Statistics:




Some highlights from the full report include:

• Women volunteered at a higher rate than did men across all age groups, educational levels, and other major demographic characteristics.
• 35- to 44-year olds and 45- to 54-year olds were the most likely to volunteer. Volunteer rates were lowest among persons in their early twenties and those age 65 and over.
• Whites continued to volunteer at a higher rate than did blacks, Asians, and Hispanics.
• Volunteer rates were higher among married persons than those who had never married and those with other marital statuses. Parents with children under age 18 were substantially more likely to volunteer than were persons without children under 18 years of age,
• Individuals with higher levels of educational attainment were more likely to volunteer than were those with less education. Among persons age 25 and over, 42.8 percent of college graduates volunteered,
• Most volunteers were involved with either one or two organizations. Individuals with higher educational attainment were more likely to volunteer for multiple organizations than were those with less education.
• The main activity volunteers performed for their main organization was most frequently fundraising, followed by collecting, preparing, distributing, or serving food.
• Most volunteers became involved with their main organization after being asked to volunteer, most often by someone in the organization. A slightly smaller proportion became involved on their own initiative; that is, they approached the organization.

Volunteers are a special breed of person. And organizations that know this to their core, enjoy greater impact and sustainability. Volunteer management (and donor relations) is not always easy, but it is primary to our work in non-profit organizations. I believe strongly (and it is my experience) that we manage and use our volunteers consistent with what we believe about volunteerism. Think about this. There is a qualitative difference between volunteers who are treated as "free labor" and those who are enrolled by organizations to be citizen partners in the organization's mission. What do you think?

What is your guiding philosophy about volunteers and their service to your organization (this question is not as simple as it seems)? What do you know about your organization's volunteers and why they volunteer for you? Who are they and how did they come to find you? When you recruit new volunteers, what is your strategy? What kind of accountability do you hold your volunteers to and how do they know?

Go volunteer today...or hug one in your midst!