Sacred Cows

I have been to India twice. Once as a college student studying abroad and once for a summer with my then ten-year-old son to retrace my steps thirty years earlier. I love India for many simple and many more complex reasons. It is a country that has been home to me and where I have roots.

One of the most life-changing experiences I had as a college student in rural India was living with a cow shepherd and his family for a "home study" program. He, and they, spoke no English. I spoke very little Gujarati at that time. Their lives and culture were completely unfamiliar to me. I was a mystery to them and to their community. My entire experience living with this family was hard work and it changed me. Side note: as I reread this post up to this point, I get reflective and my words become jumbled...chaotic...and I am reminded that India is just that, a chaotic jumble that cannot easily be described with words.

My host father--Mohanbhai--and I got on extraordinarily well. And he was eager to teach me everything there was to know and experience of his home and family, his village, and his shepherd community. All of our communication was through the earnest attempt each of us made to speak a foreign language and the exhausting use of hand signals and other non-verbal communication tools we had available. And we communicated very successfully!

India and the rich life I lived there comes forward for me quite often, and sometimes quite unexpected. For example, yesterday a client of mine was describing the poor board governance skills of some members of the board by describing the behaviors as "entrenched" and "sacred cows." These sacred cows were longstanding issues/behaviors exhibited by officers of the board that went unchallenged because of the fear of upsetting these volunteers who were also major donors. I smiled at the warm India memory stirring in my spirit. Way back then, through large, animated hand gestures and sounds and a passion from his soul, Mohanbhai taught me about sacred cows in the Hindu faith, and the holiness of cows all over India, especially the few dozen in the yard just beyond where we were speaking. It did not take much to understand how these sacred cows dominate life, conversations, actions, belief systems, ritual, faith. At this particular conversation, what Mohanbhai was trying to describe to me was that even sacred cows get in the way.

In India, it is not easy (and sometimes impossible) to live with sacred cows. They walk down the street. In traffic. They will sit on the stoop of a shop or wander into the school yard. They are noisy and their size is pretty intimidating at times. They deposit waste everywhere. And yet, these gentle creatures are everywhere and they are sacred. Do not disturb. Do no harm. Walk around. Ignore. Some even have dots of red powder on their foreheads or garlands of flowers around their necks because someone stopped the sacred cow to get and give a blessing! Sacred cows...

So this client and I talked about sacred cows as metaphor for some board-related issues. We discussed the presence of behaviors we tolerate, the presence of certain volunteers or leadership styles we enable or indulge, the existence of programs or traditions or practices we do because it's what we do. We talked about how sacred cows require our respect or acknowledgment, but not our inaction. Even the cows of India eventually get moved along with a poke of a walking stick and a continuous beep of a car horn if they block traffic too long. But only after they are blessed with a prayer! I believe India is quite effective (for the most part) at honoring sacred cows while also advancing life, business, faith, progress. The sacred cows are noticed, acknowledged, honored, and moved along!

What are the sacred cows in your organization (or relationship, job, family, etc.) that you notice? How do they show up? What sacred cow is in your way that you feel so reluctant to do anything about for fear of upsetting it? What are you accepting or tolerating simply because you always have?

Perhaps it's time to get your walking stick, poke the sacred cow, and move it along!

Now go!

Fire away!

A local discount store had this content on the cover of its recent sales circular in the newspaper:

"I appreciate complaints.

I really would like to know what you think of our stores...how you've been treated, the quality of our merchandise, the fairness of our prices, the good deals you've scored, the times you've been disappointed...for without your feedback, we can't make things right...for you or for our employees. Thanking you in advance for your comments, both good and bad.

Why solicit complaints? If we are doing something that irritates or offends you, it probably irritates or offends other people. I know we have plenty of room for improvement and that our customers see things and experience things that we can't. If you share your information and observations with us, we have a CHANCE to correct them. We think that's a "win-win" deal.

Praise is also welcome...it makes it worthwhile emotionally, which probably is almost as good!"

The invitation to customers to support this company being better at its work couldn't be clearer. I love that! And I wonder, what our growth as people and organizations would be like if we openly encouraged complaints. Not the focus group or "put your anonymous note in the complaint box" type of complaints, but serious, thoughtful, inspired complaints that are offered as a tool for us to grow, to change, to rise up, to be better! And what would it be like to allow people a moment to vent also, a clearing moment, "getting something off of your chest" kind of venting so that when the energy has passed, a constructive complaint can emerge? What are we afraid of? What holds us back form leaping in? All we have to do is listen!

In the non-profit world, the stakes are too high for everyone to simply "take my business elsewhere..." when a complaint (or series of complaints) goes unaddressed. Organizations must make it a regular practice to collect information from supporters and respond to it. Quickly. Authentically. And on the flip side, supporters of non-profits must kindly, productively, honestly, helpfully offer up ways for the organizations we support to grow while standing by, not threatening to leave, being a part of the change we wish to see. And complain we must!

Supporting a non-profit is typically relational, not transactional. I am invested in a non-profit organization becasue I am in realtionship with it, its staff, volunteers, and other supporters. It is important to me and central to my life. I feel very different about my relationship with my clinic or library or community center or school than I do about a department store or supermarket or utility company. While the for-profit institutions may call me a member or valued patron and my business may be valuable to their bottom line, my relationship with them is pretty thin; I purchase what they have. I do recognize how many for-profit institutions do a much better job at appreciating my business than others (I suppose the relationship can deepen, actually create some loyalty--thanks, Costco!), but for the most part, I am not invested in their success or failure. With the non-profits I care about, I really care...enough to speak up when they are great and when they fall short. And I stick with them!

So complain today! Get it off your chest. And what would it take for you to offer your complaints in a manner that deepens your relationship with the person or organization receiving your complaint? What would it be like for you to complain and feel better and create an opportunity for the other person to grow (vs. alienate them with your words and energy)?

Enjoy the day!

Simplify

It doesn't have to be complicated! Really...really!

Often the resolutions to our challenges are right in front of us. It would appear--especially for those of us affiliated with the work of non-profit organizations--that it is our belief the resolutions, in order to be effective, have to be more complex, detailed, tested, expensive, debated, focus-group approved, consensus made, stakeholder engaged, consultant-driven. We have convinced ourselves that reaching out to the problem solving industry is better than accessing our own common sense and intuition. Think about it!

Now, it is true, some challenges we face require additional support. Big support. And, sometimes the resolution to what feels like a major institutional problem is just plain and simple:

• Offering a contract to the new hire may help them to stay longer and alleviate your fear of an abrupt departure.
• Hiring an electrician to relocate the electric outlet which will enable the computer to be moved so that the greeters' backs are not facing guests as they enter the building.
• Adjusting or amending your strategic plan (or Bylaws, for that matter) when it fails to inspire or organize people toward goal achievement.
• Requesting that a disengaged board member step down prior to the completion of a term.
• Replacing meeting mechanics (i.e. Robert's Rules of Order) with a dose of healthy facilitation skills, hearty discussion, and a clock to keep time.
• Treating anyone in your midst as a potential donor and using every gathering of people as a cultivation opportunity.
• Keeping it real...simple...real simple.

It is pretty typical that the biggest challenges are resolved with the simplest solution, the solution that is intuitive and readily accessible. It is our belief that the resolution has to be bigger (smarter? expert? expensive?) that keeps us from actually resolving what ails us. We fall into a cycle of avoidance, overwhelm, fear, perfectionism, procrastination when we know--in our hearts--that the solution we seek is right in front of us. This does not have to be complicated.

Think about your challenges for a moment. Give them some order, biggest to not biggest (rarely are our challenges viewed as small). Now consider the biggest challenge and what you know is the resolution. Go deep. You probably know the ways to address the challenge. Now think about what you are actually doing to address the big challenge. What is the gap between what you know/intuit and what you are actually doing? What would alignment between the two look like to you? What are the barriers in the way of your intuition coming forth and resolving the matter? When you say "yes" to an overly-processed solution, what are you saying "no" to? What would simplicity look like?

Take the biggest challenge on your list and resolve to resolve it...today!

Word for the Day

What are you grateful for? What does gratitude feel like for you? For me, gratitude is more than offering "thank you"...yet that is a start. What does an expression of gratitude look like to you? What gets in the way of offering gratitude? Or acknowledging gratitude? Or receiving gratitude?

Think of a gratitude that you wish to offer. Got it?

Now go do it!

Discovery

I am my family's historian. It is a self-appointed position that I love. I am the keeper of the family tree database, a process that began over 35 years ago on scraps of paper and index cards and is now tracked on an elaborate database. I scan old photos that are then appended to individual records. I get mysterious documents and photos translated from their original languages (usually handwritten Yiddish or Old Russian). I search for vital documents on web sites and in libraries and court houses. This past summer I spent two weeks in Poland on a genealogical trip of a grand scale visiting the villages of my ancestors. I track down distant cousins on the Internet and make visits and telephone calls to collect information and solve mysteries. I am really serious about this project. My hobby is my passion.

And what I am deeply aware of when indulging this passion (almost daily!) is the depth of my passion for this hobby. I am totally committed. I am in it! When I am in pursuit of a genealogical fact, I can get lost in my effort for hours...the world is blocked out...I am in pursuit of something important...a resolution...mystery solved. I notice my focus is clear and directed. I also notice, depending upon the fact-chase I am on that my heart begins to race and I my body speeds up (I type faster on the computer keyboard). It feels very "hunter"-like, as if being in pursuit of big game. Adrenaline. Hunger. Goal.

This project has been a powerful metaphor for many aspects of (my) life. And today I am aware of how my individual efforts (daily research, collaborations, dedicated pursuits) have created a body of work. Years of research tasks have begun to show a full picture of a family. There is something very individual, singular about the work with something very collective in the result. In the same way, there is something very individual about life in a family while also being a very collective, group experience. Big picture. Goal. Eye on the prize.

So, the learning for me today is to remember the small pursuits--tasks, efforts, achievements, ideas--can add up to something bigger, richer, more complete. Research becomes a body of work. Raising many small donations becomes a new facility at a wildlife sanctuary. Making multiple employment inquiries leads to a new job. Falling repeatedly on the snow leads to mastery of jumps, grinding rails, and a half-pipe on a snowboard. Attending years of school leads to high school (and college) graduation. With each birthday, there is wisdom (hopefully) and some gray hair. The challenge is to execute the individual efforts with a conscious nod to the collective goal.

What are you passionate about, so passionate that you get lost in it? What do you notice about your body when you are indulging this passion (heart racing? focus?)? Think about your individual or daily efforts and how they contribute to a larger collective goal. What is easy, familiar to you? What is difficult? What motivates you when the goal seems so far away or incredibly difficult to achieve? It isn't only the successes that leads to the goal; what does it take to be okay with the collective failures that lead to growth and learning? What are your doing today, or this year, or for years in service to tomorrow?

Enjoy the day!

The Pursuit of Joy

I have a new acquaintance (quickly becoming a friend) who is a talented, educated, experienced, skilled professional in her non-profit field. She is fantastic. And she has been stuck in a rut professionally. I know she is a success--meets her goals, contributes positively to the cause and culture, leads--but she would describe her existence as joy-less. Something is missing.

It took some time. Then the shift happened.

Perhaps you can relate: There are those moments in our lives when we have had enough of our circumstances being the way they are and we make a change...a deliberate, conscious, intentional shift in the dynamic in order to create a new dynamic. We stop waiting for something to change and we go out (or inward) and make the change! My friend did this. She stopped waiting and she started making. It did not take long before the new job, the new home in a new state, the new challenge was created. She stopped living from the place of managing circumstances she did not like and began vigorously shaping her desired life and circumstance. Re-frame!

It wasn't easy, I'm quite sure. Big results require big effort.

And in this case, she chose to shift away from "what can I do to make this situation more tolerable?" to taking a big risk in today's unstable economic climate and pursue a job where she can make a real impact and feel real passion and joy. Big, scary, "what the hell am I doing" kind of effort! To be fair, I am all for the need to sit still and examine our current states of being in order to mindfully shift energy, resources, time into more fruitful areas. But quiet exploration must yield to real work, to sincere effort, to doing something!

Name your rut, your stuck place right now. What is holding you back (for you in the non-profit world, the answer is not "money")? What do you really know about this place? Now imagine the shift to something else, a different place, a different perspective. What will it take to get there? Name some action you can take to get closer to this new place. What are you willing to "spend" in order to get there? What will it "cost" you to stay where you are? what are you willing to do in order to be who you want to be?

My friend wanted to find joy. Pretty simple conceptually, yet achieving the goal (finding joy) is loaded with practical and emotional weight. Finding joy requires various levels of risk, perseverance, and a sense of humor. What else?

What do you want?

Tough Times

A major study produced by Guidestar about the financial health of America's non-profits in the first half of 2010 was released today (7014 respondents) and it contains great validation and little surprise. In short:

• Charitable contributions decreased greatly.
• Fewer individuals gave.
• Gifts from individuals were smaller.
• Demand for services increased modestly.
• Foundation grant awards decreased.
• Foundations made no major changes in their grant making processes.
• Number of funding requests remained the same.
• 2010 annual budgets increased slightly over 2009.
• Budget reductions are due to reductions in activities and services.
• Volunteerism has stayed the same.

The full study--The Effect of the Economy on the Nonprofit Sector--complete with charts and graphs, can be found here.

It is a tough time out there for nonprofit organizations! But you already knew this... Yet, I am convinced, if you meet the challenge of the times with new perspectives--for leadership, staffing, measurement, donor stewardship, fundraising, service delivery, strategic planning, board management, volunteer recruitment, message management...everything-- you will come through in a better place.

What are you learning from these times? You have a solid sense for now...what's next? Try removing money (funding, fundraising, etc.) from the equation for a moment...what's going on in your organization? Here's the creative, new perspective part...what solutions can you come up with that do not require money (funding, fundraising)? Money is just one of the many tools you have available to deliver the services you are committed to; what are the other tools you have available and how well are you using them?

The inward journey during a time of external chaos is worth exploring. Give it a try!

And give me a call if I can be of service to you.