Students Leading the Way

One of the greatest challenges for young people must be to step fully into managing their own lives and taking responsibility for the things that directly affect them. It was for me. It is for my son. And I recall as a high school student government leader (many years ago!), my friends and I did exactly that. We lobbied school administrators, collaborated with school district trustees, and even took our issues (and grievances) to the State Board of Education. We learned it is one thing to have adults manage our lives for us and quite another to try to manage them ourselves...for ourselves.

Personal and collective empowerment.

And today, the world is very different than when I was a student. For many reasons. Especially because of the Internet.

I have written before about the cyber-bullying experience we had to manage that consumed our son and our family several years ago (as a seventh grader, he was the victim of a nasty and threatening on-line bullying cycle perpetrated by some classmates). Now that he has been accepted to college for the Fall term, this middle school nightmare seems so long ago! I am reminded of the impact of that experience, however, on a daily basis. I see the perpetrators of the bullying of my son in our small community. I work with the limitations of the restrictions placed on Internet accessibility resulting from the bullying incident and those that followed for other kids. I am saddened by the threat to innocence and easygoing social development because of the seductive vastness and anonymity of the virtual world.

Just late last week I received a letter from Mrs. Svensson, a school teacher in Colorado, whose 7th grade technology students found my website and resource links about cyber-bullying. She acknowledged that the students found my site of value and asked if I would help them continue to get the word out about the problem of on-line safety and cyber-bullying by posting the resource links they researched for their assignment. I am happy to do so!

Thanks, kids, for taking responsibility for your own lives and for trying to make the lives of your classmates who are bullied, harassed, ridiculed, teased, threatened, victimized, taunted, annoyed a little bit happier, easier to navigate by providing valuable resources from which to seek help, and helping to make your school environment and the lives of your classmates safer and happier.

Here are the valuable links provided by these courageous young people:

Bella Lyn offers the website (although at the time of this posting, the website appears to be having some technological challenges; I'll update when possible): http://www.cyberbully.org

Andrew offers this resource: On-line Security Guide for Parents and Kids

Ben M. offers the site: http://www.makeadifferenceforkids.org

Derrik offers resources from this guide: http://www.marysvillelib.org

Angela P. offers the site: http://www.cyberbullying.us

Sara offers more great resources to take from this research guide hosted by the US Marines: http://guides.grc.usmcu.edu

And Mrs. Svensson provides some valuable tips in her e-mail signature:

Parents-Quick Cyber-Safety Tips

1. Make sure your child does not spend all of his/her time on the computer. People, not computers, should be their best friends and companions.

2. Teach them never to meet an online friend offline unless you are with them.

3. Teach them what information they can share with others online and what they can't (like telephone numbers, address, their full name and school)

The problem of cyber-bullying is not going away anytime soon, sadly. In fact, it may be getting worse. It is certainly more tragic with the increase in teen suicides resulting from cyber-bullying and other forms of bullying and harassment. Bullying today is meaner, more threatening, and creates a deeper despair and marginalization for these young people. While parents and educators can do extraordinary things to mitigate the problem, young people can also lead the effort for themselves.

Your lives depend on it!

P.S. There are more useful links on the sidebar of this blog and on this link to my website. Please call me if I can support you with your cyber-bullying challenges.

It's What You Do!

Lead. Manage. Facilitate. Strategize. Listen. Solicit. Measure. Work. Participate. Share. Talk. Challenge. Direct. Shape. Govern. Grow. Learn. Process. Evaluate. Mentor. Coach. Counsel. Recruit. Plan. Schedule. Write. Send. Create. Implement. Terminate. Cultivate. Thank. Visit. Draft. Clean. Nurture. Record. Update. Balance. Protect. Secure. Nurture. Legislate. Promote. Advocate. Lobby. Educate. Train. Vote. Select. Greet. Secure. Think. Consider. Apologize. Commit. Hire. Pay. Laugh. Celebrate. Brainstorm. Present. Complete.

Think about what you want to do and the outcome you wish to achieve and choose your verb wisely. Be in a state of mindfulness. Try it.

And, of course, how you do it is important!

What are you aware of when you are doing something? What do you notice when what you are doing is inconsistent with why you are doing it or with what you are trying to achieve? How do you redirect yourself (or others) when you notice this lack of alignment? What dynamic exists when what you do and what you need are not aligned?

Enjoy the weekend!

What Lingers In the Space

It's been a rough autumn. And winter. I got pneumonia and have been really sick for some time now. What an interruption to my life. Lucky for me, I was able to identify the moment of infection...and even "Patient Zero." One shared retreat followed by four people out with the plague. Nasty!

Ever since this retreat I have been thinking about germs. The things we cannot see or hear or smell or feel. The things that exist and that we take for granted. Until it is too late. I am intrigued by the germs that lingered in the retreat space as we planned, built team, conversed, played. The pneumonia germs were ever-present, looking to infect unsuspecting people, even at a time of great collegiality and productivity.

And I got to thinking... pneumonia germs are a lot like the toxins that exist in the work place, the toxins that linger waiting to infect the productivity and cohesion of the team. They are so familiar to each of us. Some people and behaviors that when unleashed, infect the space and ruin everything. For everybody.

Excuses. Ego. Laziness. Arrogance. Clashes between generations or departments or across functional areas. People who show up late. Unproductive meetings. Undermining behaviors. Poor quality of work. Rudeness. Lack of civility. Collusion and coercion. Lack of creativity, kindness, support, resources, time, ideas. Crying. Rage. Ignoring the issues/problems. Revenge and retribution. Slacking. Internet and social distractions. Lengthy personal breaks. Blame. Defensiveness. Quitting. Scapegoating. Withdrawal. Terse e-mail exchanges. Door slamming. Tattling. It goes on and on.

We have been sanitizing the home and office for a month now. Disinfecting wipes and anti-bacterial dispensers and laundry and handkerchiefs and isolation when needed. So far, so good. No one else is sick! Pneumonia be gone!

But how do we do that in the workplace? What does the sanitizing and disinfecting the work space look like? How do we eliminate the toxins? Manage the toxins? Heal from the toxins? How do we acknowledge that toxins may exist and then behave accordingly? What germs are you carrying into the workplace, knowing that if you spent the day in bed, you could eliminate them? And when you notice the toxins, what do you do? What is possible for you and the team if you spoke up? Where does the courage come from? Talk about having to be conscious and aware!

Good health to you in the new year!

A Great Read!

A terrific article, shared from www.ejewishphilanthropy.com that is well worth a read followed by a hearty a conversation with your board and staff.

Ready...set...go!

Nonprofit Leadership Needed

October 17, 2011

by Todd Cohen

Nonprofits need to lead, and quickly.

At home and abroad, we face serious threats from multiple, cascading crises, including shattered economies and financial systems; toxic and gridlocked politics; poverty, disease and illiteracy; global terrorism; natural and ecological disasters; and, in the U.S., a culture infected with greed, blame and intolerance.

Missing in action in taking on those problems is leadership, a role that nonprofits can and must play.

Yet with the social and global needs they exist to address escalating rapidly, nonprofits themselves are stressed and increasingly broken by crises of their own over who will lead them, the role their organizations should play, and the business models they will need to survive and thrive.

The challenges facing nonprofits are huge, and meeting them will require leadership that is exceptional.

Nonprofits need leaders who can help rebuild their organizations; set a vision for what they aspire to accomplish; and identify and develop partners and supporters they will need to effectively take on community problems.

But nonprofits as organizations also need to be leaders.

In a speech last month at the annual conference of the N.C. Center for Nonprofits, James Joseph, former U.S. ambassador to South Africa and a former president of the Council on Foundations, urged nonprofits to help fill the void in the U.S. in moral leadership.

To do that, nonprofits need to shape a “post-crisis narrative” about the role they will play, get over their “fear of public life” by getting involved in policy work and public debate, and recognize that their assets consist of more than simply financial capital, said Joseph, a professor emeritus of the practice of public policy at Duke University.

The nonprofit sector is the “custodian of values and resources,” and the “conscience of our democracy,” he said, and should serve as an “independent moral voice” and develop messages to “build the national will” in addressing the urgent problems we face.

To be effective leaders for social and global change, however, nonprofits first need to get their own shops in order.

Also last month, at the first session of the second annual course offered by the Leadership Gift School, an initiative in Charlotte, N.C., to build the philanthropic culture of local nonprofits and the community, fundraising consultant Karla Williams told teams of staff executives and fundraisers from a dozen local nonprofits that leadership and philanthropy are “philosophically intertwined,” rooted in an innate desire to fix a problem or improve a cause.

So truly advancing a nonprofit’s mission requires a business model that integrates strategies for building the capacity of the organization and for serving the community.

That requires leaders who can build relationships and communicate, both within their own organizations and in their communities.

Leaders, whether individuals who lead organizations, or organizations that exercise moral leadership, can lead effectively if they can and will listen, share, include, think ahead, and take risks that make sense.

Leaders in the nonprofit sector must help develop and share the story of the community needs their organizations address.

They must develop partners and supporters who care about community and can work together to identify critical assets and resources, and put them to productive, innovative and collaborative use.

Sadly, many nonprofits lack true leaders and themselves fail to lead, stuck in the mindset that they and their causes are victims.

Instead, nonprofits need to look for ways to grow and partner, and to find the community assets they can use and share to make a difference.

At the Leadership Gift School, Williams cited Max De Pree, former CEO of Herman Miller and author of Leadership is an Art.

The first job of a leader, he said, is to “define reality,”

The second is to be a “servant.”

To successfully navigate today’s crises, nonprofits must step up and lead by telling the story of the urgent social and global problems we face, and serving their communities by shaping the vision, and developing the partnerships and resources, needed to fix those problems.

Todd Cohen is editor and publisher of Philanthropy Journal

A Letter to People Who Volunteer

Dear Volunteer,

Our organization thrives because of your hard work and commitment to our shared vision. You give your talents and expertise freely which enables us to thrive, provide valuable services, and save money (you also are core to our staying in legal compliance as a non-profit, but that sounds pretty cold...but thanks!). We couldn't do what we do without you. Really!

Working with volunteers can be challenging for professional staff. We have experience and training too and sometimes our efforts and passion get overshadowed by yours (you give it away for free while we get paid!). But I know we are truly in partnership with one another. In fact, I have to remind myself, non-profit organizations were not created to be the professionally run institutions that they have become; they were always intended to be entirely volunteer led. But I am glad you are here!

Sometimes it's hard to remember that volunteers are not extensions of staff or unpaid staff. To think this way actually devalues your generous gift of time. You are purely, thoughtfully, kindly a volunteer. Period. I need to remember you are, for example, a volunteer who is a doctor or a volunteer who is a fundraiser or a volunteer who is a community leader. You are a volunteer who brings your personal and professional expertise and resources to help us advance our common goal. You round out what we are as a professional staff. Cool.

The demands placed upon volunteers are great. I recognize this fact clearly. And I know that you volunteer in addition to maintaining your paying job, raising a family, commuting, being a student, and other life functions. I cannot expect that you are here 40 hours a week like me. If you were to do so, you should be paid. My job is to leverage those hours we do spend together in service to our organization. I have to take some responsibility for how well you are able to serve our organization. If it's not working too well, chances are staff has something to do to make sure it gets better. We need you.

I count on you to serve and to guide me. I count on you to teach me something, to share your resources, and to be of generous spirit. I count on you to be willing to do what is needed to be done. I count on you to show up on time and do what you say you are going to do. I count on you to be a member of the organization and a donor too. I count on you to be an ambassador of our good work in the community. I count on you to come to me when we have a problem so we can work it out, for the sake of our organization and its reputation in the community. I count on you to let me have a professional say and not try to overpower my expertise because I am staff and you are a volunteer. I count on you to do yourself what you think others should be doing (for example, I need you to be a donor if you think they should be a donor). I count on you to be willing to be counted on.

And counting on one another is a mutual thing. You can count on me to bring my best professional expertise to the organization and to serving you. It's what you pay me for. I will work with you and understand your role. Clearly. I will honor this timeless tradition of volunteerism and work with you, support you, and hold you up...as I know you will for me. I will respect you and all of your expertise and gifts. You are not free labor to me; you are a valuable resource! I will be of good cheer and appreciation for your service and I will seek to clarify and make appropriate adjustments when things need to be adjusted. I will know and appreciate the distinction between leadership volunteers and front-line/program volunteers and be clear when I am asking you to do something. I will not ask you do anything I would not do myself, unless it is an specialized skill you bring, of course. I will appreciate you and you will know it.

Just like you volunteer at this organization and maintain a life and profession outside of this volunteer service, I, too, will volunteer in an organization somewhere. You can be a role model for me. You can also be a mentor for me. I will be a donor and a volunteer and a resource and a leader. Somewhere. We can have a passion for the organization/cause we have in common and I can have a passion for something else too. I need to walk my talk. To be an effective manager of volunteers, I probably need to be one too! I will. My best training for volunteer management did not come from a classroom or a training seminar; it came from volunteering myself! You're welcome!

More than anything, Volunteer, you were on my mind this morning. I was feeling a heap of appreciation for your service and expertise. You do make me a bit crazy at times (sometimes you are a bit demanding!), but I have come to realize how much you mean to our organization and what we mean to you. Passion looks, well...passionate at times. Your service to our organization is incredible and I am glad to know you.

You are my hero!

The Staff of Your Non-Profit Organization

It's (not) the Economy, Stupid!

There is a common theme of blame and dis-empowerment in our culture today--"It's the economy"--that we use to let ourselves off the hook for failing to deliver on our goals. Blame the economy! I get that the economy is tough...really tough for many...and yet, there is a tendency to overstate the importance of the economy weighing us down so we do not have to address the truth of what might really be weighing us down. The external factors of life are rarely what bring us down; how we respond to them is the issue.

Hard truth? The economy is not necessarily the reason why your non-profit is struggling to meet its fundraising goals. The economy is not necessarily the reason why you have yet to find a job. The economy is not necessarily the reason your organization is losing customers or members or market share. When we fixate on the economy we are assuring ourselves that for another period of time--days, weeks, months, and even years--we will not be taking responsibility for the condition of our organizations, budgets, lives, relationships, job searches, market share.

The economy is bad. What's worse is ignoring our individual and collective power and responsibility to do anything about our situations while in this economy.

Think about it: Not meeting your fundraising goals can be about having a poor or a poorly articulated case for giving. Maybe your fundraising staff and volunteers are poor fundraisers. Maybe you don't understand your donors and what motivates their giving to you. Perhaps you don't understand what your philanthropic competition is doing to set itself apart from you. What if your strategy is just bad? What if your services are uninspired, tired, or not needed any longer? Perhaps you are not asking the right people in the right way and for the right amount of money or the right kind of support. What have you done to address staffing, training, infrastructure, data? Maybe you're talkers and not doers (many fundraisers love to talk about what donors should be doing with their money!).

Think about it: Maybe your work experience is deficient for the jobs that interest you. Maybe you aren't networking actively enough. Maybe you spend too much time looking for work from your computer and not enough time engaging and enrolling people face-to-face in your job search. Maybe your skills are out of date. Maybe your interview skills are weak and offer up a poor reflection of who you really are and the value you can bring the organization. Maybe you are unprepared. Perhaps your deficiencies (we all have them) are leading and your successes (we all have them) are trailing behind in your search. Maybe your resume is poorly written and badly designed. It could be the suit, the hairstyle, the perfume/after shave, the scuffed shoes, the accessories. Perhaps you are surrounded with too many people commiserating with you (telling you the economy is really the reason why you are not landing a job) and not telling you useful truths (for example, you appear desperate and there are typos in your cover letter) for fear of upsetting you.

Think about it: Maybe your organization is poorly managed or your services are badly presented to your public. Maybe your organization's failure to strategically plan in the past has come to haunt your present. Maybe your competition is just better than you delivering the same services. Perhaps your customer/member/donor services have become stale, insincere, underwhelming. Perhaps your public sees an investment to an organization other than yours is a better investment. Maybe you have gone adrift of your mission and your core business principles have failed. What if you are resistant to acting upon complaints, criticism, feedback that you pretend to seek? Maybe your lapsed members are just not that into you any longer.

When we tend to repeat the external reasons why our success eludes us (it's the economy!), it is generally a good indication that we are unaware or unwilling to look at our own contribution. Yes, the economy is bad...often our own contributions are worse!

Think about it! And then do something!

Play to Win!

Board of Directors, JCC of the North Shore, February 9, 2011

About one year ago, it was reported in my community that the 100 year old Jewish Community Center was going out of business. Membership--the life-blood of the organization--was plummeting, philanthropy was down, the economy was killing the organization, the facility was in growing disrepair and lacked modernity, and a new YMCA in the town was competing fiercely. The organization's programs, leadership, and mission were completely out of alignment. No one was talking about it openly, but there is also a Jewish communal "cannibalism" taking place where organizations are directly (or indirectly) seeking to damage one another to advance their own agendas. All in all, this was a pretty typical scenario for JCC's in many communities across the country (and frankly, quite common in other religious and other service areas). Open on Monday, out of business by Shabbat!

I have been very critical of the JCC and its management. I have written about it on this blog several times before. This JCC has been an incredibly good example of how not to do things on many levels. It would be easy to be a sideline critic--this JCC has had many of those--but I became increasingly more frustrated because I had been trying to volunteer my professional fundraising skills and coaching service to help the JCC for a couple years and had been rebuffed. Really! Mine was one of hundreds of stories just like it. Architects and managers of a failure run for cover, triggered by the enormity of their problems and overwhelmed by the options to reverse the failure. In this case, closure is easy!

I wasn't present, but I have heard several versions of the story of the board meeting the night the decision was being made to close the J. The rancor and upset, the accusations and the finger-pointing. My favorite: "It took 100 years to destroy the institution beloved by so many!" What a waste! And what emerged from that fatal night was a completely different scenario: Some courageous (some have said crazy) volunteers said they would reinvent the JCC for its next 100 years, raise the funds, make the tough operating decisions, hire, fire, risk, defy, and imagine. In no way, under the watch of this group of focused volunteers was the J going to close. There were people in the community, many who were part of the problem leading to the near-closure, who said "Show Me!" These volunteers stood before the powerful voices shouting for closure and and accepted the philanthropic challenge of a generation!

Challenge accepted, success in the works!

The story has not been fully written just yet...how it happened that a small community and a group of volunteers saved their JCC from closure. But many new chapters have been written. I can highlight a few things, though:

• Skewer the sacred cows! The JCC model (and the YMCA and the United Way and the Jewish Federation and the list goes on) is broken and must be reinvented for a new generation. Having a Facebook page and sending clever Tweets on Twitter does make your organization current. Go deep. And then go even deeper to find a fresh way of delivering your mission. If you are afraid to take on the very core of who you have always been (like membership or payroll deduction), chances are you are in the presence of a sacred cow.
• It's about philanthropy! Even a member who pays a fee for a service is a (potential) donor. Even a client who receives services at your organization can be a donor. Every single person you come into contact with can be a donor...if you ask. If you call the people in your non-profit world anything other than a donor, you will fail!
• Generational shift is real. This is not about age as much as it is about the way in which we think. Never before has our world changed so fast (and continues to...daily) and we must respond. That which forces us to change will occur overnight! Our response rate to the forces of change will often take months. It is often too late! We must become far more adaptable, faster. The days of "non-profit" being an excuse to be slow, inefficient, unaccountable, un-measured, poor performing, unlicensed, un-credentialed, lacking resources, etc., etc., are over. Get in front of your own truth, experience, and narrative!
• Change the language! Our JCC is not in the clear yet, but it isn't out of business. In fact, it appears that it will be in business for a few more years, years which will be spent growing in new ways and becoming sustainable. This JCC is back...and better only because of words like bold, new, fresh, accountability, measurement, benchmarking, donors, efficiency leading the conversation.
  
• Unpack what is conflated. In the new world, risk doesn't have to be bad. Bold doesn't have to be scary. New ideas do not have to be youthful inexperience any more than history has to be an anchor into a failed past. The decisions this board has made are risky and smart! We are in control of how we package, view, and promote our actions and beliefs.
• Don't Under-capitalize! It takes money to make money. Spend it. I think there is a non-profit version of dying with tons of money in the bank, having never been on a vacation, remodeled the house, or given to charity. A non-profit can afford expert professional staff, cleaning crews, upgraded computers and software, expert consultants. The list goes on. Businesses fail because they are under-capitalized. Non-profits are businesses! Capitalize! Again, the conflation piece--being cheap does not mean you are being efficient.
• The Titanic Conundrum. Sometimes leadership (or lack of it) looks like deck chair rearranging on a sinking ship. New paint does not fix problems; it just freshens the place up until people look deeper. A spiffy web site does not elevate the quality of classes promoted. Adding member benefits does not convert these people to being philanthropists. Rewarding bad work does not make bad workers work better. It's not about the deck chairs; it's about the ship taking on water and the number of life boats!
• No Drama Zone! Declare it. Get on board. Match the hard work; don't make more hard work. Drama is what you do in your home or office away from others. Problem solving, re-strategizing is what you do in a committee meeting or staff meeting or board room. Be aware of your impact.
  
• Stay relevant. 'Nuff said!
  

The JCC board approved a sweeping reinvention plan last week. It is bold. It is not without risk. It is exciting. It is a bright hope for a brighter future. And it has reminded me of why I do this work. Our work in philanthropy is about changing people's lives and making our world and communities better. It can be a job, but it also has to be a mission in life...a purpose driven life. We can never be okay with charitable organizations going out of business; the impact on the people who rely upon them is too great. The hole left in the heart of a community is gaping.

Most non-profits are an un-renewed grant award or a struggling annual campaign away from closure. Before the real crisis hits you, what can be done today--with your leadership and your programs--to stay ahead of the crisis? The people who rely upon your existence are counting on you to know. Today!

P.S. I finally became actively involved. That moment happened about six months ago when I was invited to join the volunteers who were saving the J, as a member of the leadership task force and then as a member of the board of directors. Talk about putting my skills and my ideas and my expertise where my mouth is. Get off of the sidelines. Jump! Higher. Now. What an amazing volunteer experience I am having. I'll keep you posted on our progress.

Systems and Values and Thoughts (oh my!)

A post inspired by the blizzard out my window!


I am intrigued by how challenged everyone is (it seems!) to get along, come together, make it work. When did the challenge become how challenging it is to be/work together and not the collective overcoming or resolution to the issue--the challenge--at hand? When did families begin to look like "casts" of a reality TV show and when did work groups begin to resemble an elementary school playground complete with authority figures, upper and lower classmates, structure, bullies, cliques, purpose, games, inside and outside voices, stalling tactics? How many people will know "Outwit, Outplay, Outlast" and not "E pluribus unum"? What happened that we marginalize those with whom we disagree rather than bring them closer, try to understand and seek some common ground, and move forward together in service of something greater? How is it that the more connected we are the more disconnected we are? How is it that the more tools we have, the less we accomplish? How is it that the more we have to fill ourselves and our partnerships and our organizations, the more empty we actually are (or appear)? What happened to polite disagreement, not loving one another but liking one another, agreeing to disagree? When did the customer become wrong? When did the intent of donors get "correctly interpreted" by creative internal bookkeeping? How did we become okay with working so much harder as the bar got so much lower? When did staff learn the way to success was to break the will of a volunteer and when did the volunteer learn that the way to success was to demean staff as people too un-something to do the noble work of volunteerism? When did it become so terrible to look at history to inform decision making today? And what is it about looking forward that is so scary to people who hold history so deeply? What are the barriers to saying "I'm sorry" (or "I screwed up" or "let's try this again...") and what could be if we said it more? Organization, relationship, or personal crisis doesn't usually just happen; it is typically an accumulation of neglect, mismanagement, denial, poor adaptation to change and yet we act so blindsided when it is in front of us. What's up with that? When did our love for (and right to) individual autonomy become disconnected from personal responsibility and accountability? When did having our efforts or success or skills measured get conflated with our personal worth and self esteem? We learn that driving a vehicle is a privilege and not a right; what is intended by this differentiation and what is your interpretation of this differentiation? I wish the salaries (and our collective priorities) would change and good school teachers (and police officers and fire fighters and soldiers and nurses...) would earn more than bad professional athletes; what does it take to radically shift the values of this culture?

Believe me, this is not a post of spiraling negativity just 12 days into the new year! In fact, there is a lot about this post that is positive, provocative, and intriguing. And what do you notice in your world?

I am really intrigued. Really!

Time to go shovel snow!

Shame in the New Year

I remember reading once how "to do" lists should be renamed "shame" lists. All we really do is commit what we think we will do to paper, don't do any of it (often because the list is so long and overwhelming), and then we go do some shaming activity to make ourselves feel better for failing to accomplish anything on the list! Sound familiar?

At no time is this cycle more prevalent than at the New Year! Big ideas occupy our to-do lists and we even have a special name for them--New Year Resolutions. Most people who have "resolved" to eat better and be more active are devouring chocolate and potato chips on the couch in front of the Rose Bowl game on New Years Day. Really!

So what's wrong here? My contention is that we often resolve to do, not be! And not doing is easy and suffering the shame for not doing is short lived. Not being is a different story, one that leaves us reflective, often challenged, and usually motivated to work harder to achieve the goal. Let me give you an example:

The New Year resolutions, to-do lists may look like this (they often do!):

For an individual

1. Eat healthy.
2. Exercise more.
3. Watch less television.
4. Stop cussing.
5. Stop using the cell phone while driving.

For an organization

1. Raise more money.
2. Provide specialized training for our staff.
3. Grow the readership of out blog.
4. Expand our service program to a new population.
5. Raise more money.

What do you notice about the list? What do you notice about yourself when you read the list? Where does the impact of the list hit you? Where's the inspiration in the list for you? How inspired are you to take it on?

These lists, in order to mean something to us and for us to hold them closely enough to be of value, must be bigger, inspiring, a stretch but attainable, and functional. Your list must be anchored in where you are at the moment, where you want to go, what you will do to get there, and include a real accountability. Say what?

So try this:

For an individual

1. I am 30 pounds overweight, feeling sluggish, and my blood cholesterol is in the unhealthy ranges. I will have a body that is healthy and will sustain me for my own peace of mind, for the sake of my family, and so I can enjoy the activities I love to do, and even discover a few new ones (like kite surfing!). I will join a daily Boot Camp program at my local gym and use the instructor as a motivator to not miss class. I will eliminate all commercially processed foods and sugars from my diet. I will not buy them and I will work with my family and friends to find healthy food alternatives. I will take a healthy eating class in January. I will drink three liters of water a day. I can measure this water intake by keeping liter bottles filled each morning and consuming them each day; I'll do what I can see. I will monitor my blood cholesterol with my physician regularly. I will make a quarterly appointment for labs and a consultation and make adjustments according to the data.

For an organization

1. My organization is underfunded to meet the needs of our constituency. We also do not have adequately trained staff and board members to do the fundraising. My goal is to have our organization be financially sustainable long term and our monthly budget running in the black. I want to double our fundraising personnel capacity. I am going to personally solicit six donors for $10,000 gifts each by February 15. I am going to write the grant for the community foundation and submit it by the January 25 deadline. I am going to retain a consultant to work with each board member personally to develop fundraising comfort and skill by January 15 and the training sessions will be complete by March 1. I will review our budget and see where I can trim expenses by 7% before the April board meeting.

Now these are resolutions! And I know there is some version of these kinds of resolutions in each of us. Really! We are not usually willing to do what we say we will do if we are not inspired or held accountable to do it. Inspiration leads to action! "Stop smoking" becomes "I feel my body is really unhealthy from my cigarette smoking, it's expensive, and finding locations to smoke is really challenging. My family worries about my longevity which makes me sad although I don't show it. I will stop smoking this year by tapering down usage and by using cessation products under the care of my physician. On day one, I will gather my family to talk with them about how I will need their active support and encouragement; we will design a plan together. I will eliminate all cigarettes by June 1 and only use cessation products. By 2012 I will be completely smoke free."

It takes courage to create change in our lives, to disrupt patterns, to change culture, to address addictions. And to do so requires some thought, some planning, some support, and a lot of accountability. Rarely do we just stop doing something or change the way we think about something. There is more to human behavior. We aren't so simple.

So grab you list of 2011 New Year resolutions. Go on, get your list! (Okay, so get a piece of paper and write them down). And re-work them, one by one, from the list you know you won't do into a plan that inspires you to achieve your goals.

Peace in the new year!

A Week In Review

End of the week thoughts and queries on several themes as informed by my week:

• If you have a job in this horrific economy, what are you doing to keep it? What about the job--or having the job--makes you grateful? What about your employment status makes you complacent?
• If you are looking for work, what are you doing that truly sets you apart from ordinary, or in many cases, sets you apart from the many candidates who are overqualified for the same position you seek?
• Getting stuck in a cycle of negativity happens to all of us. What does it take to get you out of the cycle? What's on the other side for you?
  
• When you are done...finished...over it...what does it take for you to proudly, from the place of self awareness and clarity, act on it? You've made your decision so act on it.
  
• Volunteers are amazing! In our time-strapped society, to give freely of time is extraordinary. What lights you up about the volunteer work you do? If you do not volunteer (typically: "I don't have the time"), what will it take for you to find the time to enrich your own life by being of service to your world (for free)?
• Planning is not easy. In fact, planning can be exhausting. And at some point we need to stop the planning and begin the doing. What do you notice when the cycle of planning continues...and continues? How do you break the cycle? What is it about the doing that is being avoided?
• We are measured and held accountable in countless ways in life. And, we measure and hold accountable too. A lot! What's all the resistance to measurement and accountability about? We do it and yet we don't want it. What's being held so deeply here?
• There is the actual doing the job and then there is the way in which we do the job. What do you do and what is the way in which you do it? How aligned are the two? If they are not aligned, what can be done?
• There is a vast difference between capacity and willingness. You may or may not have the capacity to do something and you may or may not have the willingness to do something. It's the combination or alignment of the two that tells the story. And your story is...?
• What did you learn this week? What totally new, mind altering thing did you learn...something that took you to a place you had never considered before? What's next?
• The older I get I realize that to be truly independent I am surrounded by people and support. In other words, independence is not a solitary existence, it is a way I carry myself, a belief system, a freedom that comes from connection. What do you know about independence?
• Turning deep, personal pain into triumph and blessing is remarkable. pain is real and needs to be experienced. It's life. And yet, to be able to turn that pain into a blessing, a tribute, a law, an awareness is inspiring. How have you turned your pain into an inspiration today?
• Maintaining physical health and well being can be challenging in our lives. And yet, having a healthy, well balanced body is essential to having a good life. We forgo the essential for the inessential. We know we have to make these biological entities last a lifetime (not at all long when we think about it!) and yet we make choices daily that potentially shorten the shelf-life of the body. How aligned is your value for your body, your hopes and aspirations for your life, and how you treat your body?

And how was your week?

Enjoy the weekend!

We Can Do Better

This fundraising campaign called BuyLife, for the organization calling itself "Keep a Child Alive," leaves me cold! Everything about it strategically and tactically is just wrong. Wrong! It's not clever, edgy, ironic. It's just bad.

A simple breakdown of the campaign: A wide range of celebrity-type people will cease all fan contact (being promoted as a "sacrifice") through their social networks from December 1, 2010 until $1 million is raised (collectively) for the charity. From the campaign website:

How many real lives can be saved by sacrificing a few digital ones? Millions...

Starting December 1 - World AIDS Day - the world's most followed celebrity Tweeters are sacrificing their digital lives to help save millions of real lives affected by HIV/AIDS in Africa and India.

That means no more Twitter or Facebook updates from any of them. No more knowing where they are, what they had for dinner, or what interesting things are happening in their lives. From here on out, they're dead. Kaput. Finished.

But they don't have to die in vain. And they don't have to stay dead for long. Just watch their Last Tweet and Testaments, and buy their lives back.

Every single dollar helps Keep a Child Alive fight this terrible disease. And when $1,000,000 is reached, everyone will be back online and tweeting in no time.

You can even join the fight yourself by sacrificing your own digital life. If Khloe and Kim can live without Twitter for a few days, maybe you can too.

Together, with a little digital sacrifice on our parts, we can give millions of real people the care, love and hope they deserve.

We can give them life - the one thing none of us can live without.

Simply stunning!

Fundraising campaigns centered around celebrity are very tricky. These celebrity-driven campaigns will succeed (or not) based upon the public's affection for the celebrity and the authentic connection between the celebrity and the charity.

As evidenced in this campaign, the public has an incentive NOT to give: These celebrities will be silent until the $1 million dollar goal is reached. To the general public weary of the over saturated celebrity-driven culture, this is the best money people do not have to give.

Screen cap of the campaign at 10:30 AM, approximately 35 hours after the campaign began, showing $160,310 raised so far

The focus of the campaign is on what the donor will not get (your favorite celebrity Tweet, for example) and says nothing specific about what the donated dollars will do for the charity and the people the charity serves. Donors do not give when threatened with deprivation (No Tweets for You!), rather donors give when convinced their gifts make a difference by credible organizations and they feel valued for making the gift. Donors don't want to give to dead celebrities; they want to give to living people with real needs.

The ad campaign depicting living "dead" celebrities in glammed up casket shots is just creepy. The photos are not attractive nor do they tell a story about the cause or the charity benefiting from this campaign. They really aren't all that provocative, shocking. They aren't even disturbing. They are just creepy.

Since when is "sacrificing" digital use the "ultimate sacrifice"?

The campaign makes light of death, dying, sacrificing, giving, buying. I believe in an appropriate context even darkness can be light, but not here. The campaign asks: "If Khloe and Kim can live without Twitter for a few days, maybe you can too." In the context of this ad campaign, is this levity really compelling? Appropriate? Funny?

The on-line medium for giving has been grossly underutilized! And most celebrities under utilize the value of their celebrity for good. What would be possible for children with AIDS if these celebrities used the breadth of their virtual social networks and the power of their celebrity to reach their followers with a message stating why they sincerely believe in the cause, why they actively support this particular organization, why they are making a meaningful financial contribution to the charity, and then urgently inviting their fans to participate. How many children will die from AIDS while these "dead" celebrities participate in this empty gimmick?

Message for leaders of non-profit organizations:

• Your fundraising campaigns are a reflection of you, your image, your reputation, your creativity, your authenticity, your need, your effectiveness, your programs. What do your current campaigns say to you about you?
• Celebrity endorsements mean different things to different people. Ultimately, a celebrity lending his/her celebrity as a fundraising tactic is viewed quite differently than a celebrity who actually volunteers and gives money to the charity they endorse. What do your celebrity endorsements say about your organization? For scale, a "celebrity" can be a local visible person of note. Same impact.
  
• Sometimes our ideas miss the mark. Badly! If you run a campaign (or develop a program, or approve a policy...) that misses the mark, how do you know it? It's that "yeah, but..." moment that is often ignored: "Yeah, the campaign is good, but..." What do you notice when the "but" is present? What do you do? "But" is usually a warning to check your gut!
  

I have seen some bad fundraising moments in the non-profit sector; this is a new low!

We can do better than this!

P.S. World AIDS Day, December 1st of any given year, was designed to be a solemn, reflective day about the millions of deaths so far, the tens of millions of people infected with HIV today, and filled with a global education and prevention messaging. When did the World AIDS Day "brand" become so watered down to now include the salutation "Happy World AIDS Day"? Really?

Sacred Cows

I have been to India twice. Once as a college student studying abroad and once for a summer with my then ten-year-old son to retrace my steps thirty years earlier. I love India for many simple and many more complex reasons. It is a country that has been home to me and where I have roots.

One of the most life-changing experiences I had as a college student in rural India was living with a cow shepherd and his family for a "home study" program. He, and they, spoke no English. I spoke very little Gujarati at that time. Their lives and culture were completely unfamiliar to me. I was a mystery to them and to their community. My entire experience living with this family was hard work and it changed me. Side note: as I reread this post up to this point, I get reflective and my words become jumbled...chaotic...and I am reminded that India is just that, a chaotic jumble that cannot easily be described with words.

My host father--Mohanbhai--and I got on extraordinarily well. And he was eager to teach me everything there was to know and experience of his home and family, his village, and his shepherd community. All of our communication was through the earnest attempt each of us made to speak a foreign language and the exhausting use of hand signals and other non-verbal communication tools we had available. And we communicated very successfully!

India and the rich life I lived there comes forward for me quite often, and sometimes quite unexpected. For example, yesterday a client of mine was describing the poor board governance skills of some members of the board by describing the behaviors as "entrenched" and "sacred cows." These sacred cows were longstanding issues/behaviors exhibited by officers of the board that went unchallenged because of the fear of upsetting these volunteers who were also major donors. I smiled at the warm India memory stirring in my spirit. Way back then, through large, animated hand gestures and sounds and a passion from his soul, Mohanbhai taught me about sacred cows in the Hindu faith, and the holiness of cows all over India, especially the few dozen in the yard just beyond where we were speaking. It did not take much to understand how these sacred cows dominate life, conversations, actions, belief systems, ritual, faith. At this particular conversation, what Mohanbhai was trying to describe to me was that even sacred cows get in the way.

In India, it is not easy (and sometimes impossible) to live with sacred cows. They walk down the street. In traffic. They will sit on the stoop of a shop or wander into the school yard. They are noisy and their size is pretty intimidating at times. They deposit waste everywhere. And yet, these gentle creatures are everywhere and they are sacred. Do not disturb. Do no harm. Walk around. Ignore. Some even have dots of red powder on their foreheads or garlands of flowers around their necks because someone stopped the sacred cow to get and give a blessing! Sacred cows...

So this client and I talked about sacred cows as metaphor for some board-related issues. We discussed the presence of behaviors we tolerate, the presence of certain volunteers or leadership styles we enable or indulge, the existence of programs or traditions or practices we do because it's what we do. We talked about how sacred cows require our respect or acknowledgment, but not our inaction. Even the cows of India eventually get moved along with a poke of a walking stick and a continuous beep of a car horn if they block traffic too long. But only after they are blessed with a prayer! I believe India is quite effective (for the most part) at honoring sacred cows while also advancing life, business, faith, progress. The sacred cows are noticed, acknowledged, honored, and moved along!

What are the sacred cows in your organization (or relationship, job, family, etc.) that you notice? How do they show up? What sacred cow is in your way that you feel so reluctant to do anything about for fear of upsetting it? What are you accepting or tolerating simply because you always have?

Perhaps it's time to get your walking stick, poke the sacred cow, and move it along!

Now go!

Fire away!

A local discount store had this content on the cover of its recent sales circular in the newspaper:

"I appreciate complaints.

I really would like to know what you think of our stores...how you've been treated, the quality of our merchandise, the fairness of our prices, the good deals you've scored, the times you've been disappointed...for without your feedback, we can't make things right...for you or for our employees. Thanking you in advance for your comments, both good and bad.

Why solicit complaints? If we are doing something that irritates or offends you, it probably irritates or offends other people. I know we have plenty of room for improvement and that our customers see things and experience things that we can't. If you share your information and observations with us, we have a CHANCE to correct them. We think that's a "win-win" deal.

Praise is also welcome...it makes it worthwhile emotionally, which probably is almost as good!"

The invitation to customers to support this company being better at its work couldn't be clearer. I love that! And I wonder, what our growth as people and organizations would be like if we openly encouraged complaints. Not the focus group or "put your anonymous note in the complaint box" type of complaints, but serious, thoughtful, inspired complaints that are offered as a tool for us to grow, to change, to rise up, to be better! And what would it be like to allow people a moment to vent also, a clearing moment, "getting something off of your chest" kind of venting so that when the energy has passed, a constructive complaint can emerge? What are we afraid of? What holds us back form leaping in? All we have to do is listen!

In the non-profit world, the stakes are too high for everyone to simply "take my business elsewhere..." when a complaint (or series of complaints) goes unaddressed. Organizations must make it a regular practice to collect information from supporters and respond to it. Quickly. Authentically. And on the flip side, supporters of non-profits must kindly, productively, honestly, helpfully offer up ways for the organizations we support to grow while standing by, not threatening to leave, being a part of the change we wish to see. And complain we must!

Supporting a non-profit is typically relational, not transactional. I am invested in a non-profit organization becasue I am in realtionship with it, its staff, volunteers, and other supporters. It is important to me and central to my life. I feel very different about my relationship with my clinic or library or community center or school than I do about a department store or supermarket or utility company. While the for-profit institutions may call me a member or valued patron and my business may be valuable to their bottom line, my relationship with them is pretty thin; I purchase what they have. I do recognize how many for-profit institutions do a much better job at appreciating my business than others (I suppose the relationship can deepen, actually create some loyalty--thanks, Costco!), but for the most part, I am not invested in their success or failure. With the non-profits I care about, I really care...enough to speak up when they are great and when they fall short. And I stick with them!

So complain today! Get it off your chest. And what would it take for you to offer your complaints in a manner that deepens your relationship with the person or organization receiving your complaint? What would it be like for you to complain and feel better and create an opportunity for the other person to grow (vs. alienate them with your words and energy)?

Enjoy the day!

Simplify

It doesn't have to be complicated! Really...really!

Often the resolutions to our challenges are right in front of us. It would appear--especially for those of us affiliated with the work of non-profit organizations--that it is our belief the resolutions, in order to be effective, have to be more complex, detailed, tested, expensive, debated, focus-group approved, consensus made, stakeholder engaged, consultant-driven. We have convinced ourselves that reaching out to the problem solving industry is better than accessing our own common sense and intuition. Think about it!

Now, it is true, some challenges we face require additional support. Big support. And, sometimes the resolution to what feels like a major institutional problem is just plain and simple:

• Offering a contract to the new hire may help them to stay longer and alleviate your fear of an abrupt departure.
• Hiring an electrician to relocate the electric outlet which will enable the computer to be moved so that the greeters' backs are not facing guests as they enter the building.
• Adjusting or amending your strategic plan (or Bylaws, for that matter) when it fails to inspire or organize people toward goal achievement.
• Requesting that a disengaged board member step down prior to the completion of a term.
• Replacing meeting mechanics (i.e. Robert's Rules of Order) with a dose of healthy facilitation skills, hearty discussion, and a clock to keep time.
• Treating anyone in your midst as a potential donor and using every gathering of people as a cultivation opportunity.
• Keeping it real...simple...real simple.

It is pretty typical that the biggest challenges are resolved with the simplest solution, the solution that is intuitive and readily accessible. It is our belief that the resolution has to be bigger (smarter? expert? expensive?) that keeps us from actually resolving what ails us. We fall into a cycle of avoidance, overwhelm, fear, perfectionism, procrastination when we know--in our hearts--that the solution we seek is right in front of us. This does not have to be complicated.

Think about your challenges for a moment. Give them some order, biggest to not biggest (rarely are our challenges viewed as small). Now consider the biggest challenge and what you know is the resolution. Go deep. You probably know the ways to address the challenge. Now think about what you are actually doing to address the big challenge. What is the gap between what you know/intuit and what you are actually doing? What would alignment between the two look like to you? What are the barriers in the way of your intuition coming forth and resolving the matter? When you say "yes" to an overly-processed solution, what are you saying "no" to? What would simplicity look like?

Take the biggest challenge on your list and resolve to resolve it...today!

Word for the Day

What are you grateful for? What does gratitude feel like for you? For me, gratitude is more than offering "thank you"...yet that is a start. What does an expression of gratitude look like to you? What gets in the way of offering gratitude? Or acknowledging gratitude? Or receiving gratitude?

Think of a gratitude that you wish to offer. Got it?

Now go do it!

Discovery

I am my family's historian. It is a self-appointed position that I love. I am the keeper of the family tree database, a process that began over 35 years ago on scraps of paper and index cards and is now tracked on an elaborate database. I scan old photos that are then appended to individual records. I get mysterious documents and photos translated from their original languages (usually handwritten Yiddish or Old Russian). I search for vital documents on web sites and in libraries and court houses. This past summer I spent two weeks in Poland on a genealogical trip of a grand scale visiting the villages of my ancestors. I track down distant cousins on the Internet and make visits and telephone calls to collect information and solve mysteries. I am really serious about this project. My hobby is my passion.

And what I am deeply aware of when indulging this passion (almost daily!) is the depth of my passion for this hobby. I am totally committed. I am in it! When I am in pursuit of a genealogical fact, I can get lost in my effort for hours...the world is blocked out...I am in pursuit of something important...a resolution...mystery solved. I notice my focus is clear and directed. I also notice, depending upon the fact-chase I am on that my heart begins to race and I my body speeds up (I type faster on the computer keyboard). It feels very "hunter"-like, as if being in pursuit of big game. Adrenaline. Hunger. Goal.

This project has been a powerful metaphor for many aspects of (my) life. And today I am aware of how my individual efforts (daily research, collaborations, dedicated pursuits) have created a body of work. Years of research tasks have begun to show a full picture of a family. There is something very individual, singular about the work with something very collective in the result. In the same way, there is something very individual about life in a family while also being a very collective, group experience. Big picture. Goal. Eye on the prize.

So, the learning for me today is to remember the small pursuits--tasks, efforts, achievements, ideas--can add up to something bigger, richer, more complete. Research becomes a body of work. Raising many small donations becomes a new facility at a wildlife sanctuary. Making multiple employment inquiries leads to a new job. Falling repeatedly on the snow leads to mastery of jumps, grinding rails, and a half-pipe on a snowboard. Attending years of school leads to high school (and college) graduation. With each birthday, there is wisdom (hopefully) and some gray hair. The challenge is to execute the individual efforts with a conscious nod to the collective goal.

What are you passionate about, so passionate that you get lost in it? What do you notice about your body when you are indulging this passion (heart racing? focus?)? Think about your individual or daily efforts and how they contribute to a larger collective goal. What is easy, familiar to you? What is difficult? What motivates you when the goal seems so far away or incredibly difficult to achieve? It isn't only the successes that leads to the goal; what does it take to be okay with the collective failures that lead to growth and learning? What are your doing today, or this year, or for years in service to tomorrow?

Enjoy the day!